It seems everywhere we turn we are hearing the word: responsibility!
As I look back over my life, I can see how my parents taught me responsibility in so many areas: personal, work, emotional, spiritual, mental, relationships, etc. I am just like most people of my generation. The one thing that my parents did not teach me, and something that it has taken me years to understand, is that how I respond is just as important as responding.
Quick question… Who else was raised with the “God helps those who help themselves?” Sounds so biblical doesn’t it? It’s not but that might be a topic for another time.
Now, we have a generation that is not afraid to speak up and speak out (or walk out). And most of our generation is all up in arms (pun intended) about it. I think that my generation, Generation X, and all the generations before, has failed the new generation, Generation Y or, as they are more commonly referred, the Millennials.
Let me explain. As a parent, I sought to make my children’s lives easier, kinder, more compassionate, etc. I taught them the “winning isn’t everything” mantra right along with the “as long as you are trying your best” excuse. Yes, I taught them about bills and budgeting and that you have to work hard for your employer but I fell down a little on the teaching of “the world’s not fair”! I didn’t realize that I should have also been teaching them “Response-Ability”.
How we respond to the situation of life is just as important as how we live life. Our pastor recently preached on this topic and it has taken me a few days to process everything that he taught. As followers of Christ we are taught that He responded to everything with love yet, many times, we respond with harsh words, judgement, condemnation, gossip, religiousness, and the list goes on. It’s ironic that we are all against bullying but that is how we act around those that might disagree with us. We wonder why gun violence in schools is on the rise and friendships are being lost because of elections but we don’t stop to look at how we respond to the situations that we are placed in each and every day and, more importantly, we fail to recognize that our children see how we respond and learn that behavior. We can not blame the new generations for their responses and actions when we are the ones that have taught them everything they know.
So, now that we are all reflecting on some of the bad things our kids may have learned, what do we do? Well, for starters, let them see a new response. Even though they are adults, they still look to Mom and Dad for guidance. When something happens classify it into one of three categories (credit for this goes to our awesome pastor): Rubber, Metal, or Glass. Is what just happened something I can bounce back from or something that I will survive but might be a little dented, or is it something breakable that will cause me to never be the same? Be realistic in your classification. Most things that happen in life are rubber and you will bounce back very quickly. So the drive-thru got your Starbucks order wrong, your budding artist colored on the wall, that jerk just cut you off or pulled out in front of you…all rubber. Five seconds doesn’t have to affect your whole day. These are the moments that you just look towards the heavens and say, “okay, Lord, that just happened but it’s all going to be okay.”
The metal things are a little tougher to handle. That report from the doctor or the loss of your job or your car breaks down or that relationship (not marriage) ends. These are all things that can cause a momentary denting of our souls but our life goes on. These are the prayers that are more like, “Lord, I don’t understand what’s going on but I know that You have great plans for me. I trust You for healing, financial provision, guidance, and comfort with my broken heart.”
The shattering of the “glass” in our lives are, thankfully, few. Loss of life of a loved one, destruction of trust, divorce, financial ruin…All will shatter us to the core and will change us in such a way that we never view life the same. These are the prayers that are more tears and cries than words. The Lord hears the cries and collects the tears. He wraps His arms around you and just lets you cry and then, if you let Him, He will give you joy.
I have begun the process of teaching these classifications to my grown children and my young grandchildren. My children vent to me their rubber, metal, and glass situations (up to now, with only one glass situation it has all been rubber – thank God!) and then gently and lovingly try to get them to see that their response may not have been accurate for the situation. I talk to my grandchildren about their day, school, friends, home, etc. When they are having a bad day we deal with the situation. I am very careful to validate how they feel because that is just as important as what happened. We try to see if their perception of the situation is accurate. This is how they learn and grow into responsible adults.
It is time to learn that we all have to face our responsibilities with an even bigger response-ability.
Blessings to one and all!
Let me explain. As a parent, I sought to make my children’s lives easier, kinder, more compassionate, etc. I taught them the “winning isn’t everything” mantra right along with the “as long as you are trying your best” excuse. Yes, I taught them about bills and budgeting and that you have to work hard for your employer but I fell down a little on the teaching of “the world’s not fair”! I didn’t realize that I should have also been teaching them “Response-Ability”.
How we respond to the situation of life is just as important as how we live life. Our pastor recently preached on this topic and it has taken me a few days to process everything that he taught. As followers of Christ we are taught that He responded to everything with love yet, many times, we respond with harsh words, judgement, condemnation, gossip, religiousness, and the list goes on. It’s ironic that we are all against bullying but that is how we act around those that might disagree with us. We wonder why gun violence in schools is on the rise and friendships are being lost because of elections but we don’t stop to look at how we respond to the situations that we are placed in each and every day and, more importantly, we fail to recognize that our children see how we respond and learn that behavior. We can not blame the new generations for their responses and actions when we are the ones that have taught them everything they know.
So, now that we are all reflecting on some of the bad things our kids may have learned, what do we do? Well, for starters, let them see a new response. Even though they are adults, they still look to Mom and Dad for guidance. When something happens classify it into one of three categories (credit for this goes to our awesome pastor): Rubber, Metal, or Glass. Is what just happened something I can bounce back from or something that I will survive but might be a little dented, or is it something breakable that will cause me to never be the same? Be realistic in your classification. Most things that happen in life are rubber and you will bounce back very quickly. So the drive-thru got your Starbucks order wrong, your budding artist colored on the wall, that jerk just cut you off or pulled out in front of you…all rubber. Five seconds doesn’t have to affect your whole day. These are the moments that you just look towards the heavens and say, “okay, Lord, that just happened but it’s all going to be okay.”
The metal things are a little tougher to handle. That report from the doctor or the loss of your job or your car breaks down or that relationship (not marriage) ends. These are all things that can cause a momentary denting of our souls but our life goes on. These are the prayers that are more like, “Lord, I don’t understand what’s going on but I know that You have great plans for me. I trust You for healing, financial provision, guidance, and comfort with my broken heart.”
The shattering of the “glass” in our lives are, thankfully, few. Loss of life of a loved one, destruction of trust, divorce, financial ruin…All will shatter us to the core and will change us in such a way that we never view life the same. These are the prayers that are more tears and cries than words. The Lord hears the cries and collects the tears. He wraps His arms around you and just lets you cry and then, if you let Him, He will give you joy.
I have begun the process of teaching these classifications to my grown children and my young grandchildren. My children vent to me their rubber, metal, and glass situations (up to now, with only one glass situation it has all been rubber – thank God!) and then gently and lovingly try to get them to see that their response may not have been accurate for the situation. I talk to my grandchildren about their day, school, friends, home, etc. When they are having a bad day we deal with the situation. I am very careful to validate how they feel because that is just as important as what happened. We try to see if their perception of the situation is accurate. This is how they learn and grow into responsible adults.
It is time to learn that we all have to face our responsibilities with an even bigger response-ability.
Blessings to one and all!
musingsofadomesticateddiva 